Moving Out and Moving On During a Divorce
Moving from one home to another is stressful, regardless of the situation. But, moving out during a divorce is stressful, emotional, and exhausting. However, there is a silver lining. Moving out also means moving on. Although the marital home may have happy memories, it is also the place the marriage broke down.
That being said, as exciting and happy as a fresh start can be, it is also a lot easier said than done. We as people always underestimate the stress of moving but are always quickly reminded of it after the process begins. Below are some tips on moving out and starting fresh.
When moving out during a divorce, start with the difficult stuff first.
The stuff you want to worry about last is probably the stuff you should get out of the way first. This can be deciding between you and your spouse who gets the sofa, who orders the new bed, should you both consider selling and buying new? You may want to divide up family heirlooms at this time or discuss who is going to keep the family pet. After some of the bigger things are out the way, the rest of the process will start to become much more fluid, and much less stressful.
Next, think about why you want certain items.
Consider why you want certain items. Do you want to keep things just because you think they still have monetary value, or because you simply don’t want your spouse having them? Or, do they truly have significant value to you? Consider the reasons that you want the items you want and remember to pick and choose your battles when deciding who gets what item.
Don’t forget about donating.
If you and your spouse are in a good place, consider creating ‘keep’, ‘sell’ and ‘donate’ piles. You can keep what you each want, split the proceeds and sell the items that you cannot decide what to do with, and donate what you both think others may enjoy. And remember, while you are still married, you can write off donations to charity on your joint taxes, so it might be worth taking advantage of that one last time.
Bringing a friend may help.
Maybe have your friend stay home when you divide up your things with your spouse, but consider inviting your friend to help go through your to-do list and come up with design inspiration, organizational advice, and be moral support by keeping the energy positive as you go through this process of celebrating and yet grieving. This can be the start of creating new positive memories in your new place.
Organize, organize, organize!
Get a checklist together of everything you still need. Categorize it by the store you intend to shop for it at. When you pack your boxes, post color-coded post-it notes on the outside, so you are able to easily distinguish what rooms each box goes into. Set up shelving systems and closet systems ahead of time. This way, when you’re unpacking, all you have to do is remove items and place them in your new home. Also, never underestimate the power of organizational bins and labels.
Call a moving professional for help.
There are people out there who specialize in helping people move and start over. And if you have ever worked with a professional organizer, you know what a lifesaver they can be, and you know how beneficial it can be to come home to an organized place. Do not underestimate the power of coming home to a streamlined house. Through all the chaos of your divorce, and new adjustments you are making, let a professional handle the tough stuff.
Moving is never easy, but with all of the stressors that divorce can bring, minimizing the heavy burden of moving, allows you to focus your energy on some of the more important things going on in your life. We encourage you to use this time as an opportunity to create a safe haven and place where you feel you can truly start over and be yourself as you enter this next chapter of your life.