Are second marriages doomed to divorce? Issues That Rise in a Second Marriage

In today’s age, people often assume their first marriage will fail.  Getting married multiple times is now common!  Is this just due to the change in generations, or are there factors that contribute to the rise of divorce rate and the commonality of multiple marriages?

According to the Center For Disease Control and Prevention, 75% of women and 80% of men who have had failed marriages will remarry within 5 years of their divorce. Experts say there are multiple key factors that cause issues in second marriages.

Psychologist Patricia Papernow suggests these factors that cause issues in a second marriage:

 

People have unrealistic expectations of what a “real” family is and cannot let go of that.

Recent divorcees can often feel the pain of dismantling a family unit.  Whether you had children or maintained a household together, you can miss the structure of a traditional “family”.  This causes people to quickly find new partners to recreate a family unit.

 

Introducing a step-parent.

Children’s loyalty can be hard to gain.  If there are children from a first marriage, issues can arise when choosing how to discipline the children. Experts say when it comes to step parents disciplining, they should treat it as a nanny or extended family member would: enforce the household rules, but do not take matters into your own hands.

When a new parent comes into the equation, there is difficulty determining who will take on what tasks.  Open and constructive communication is important for introducing a new step-parent into the household dynamic. If the family cannot coalesce, then it can cause friction between family members.

 

Cultural and behavioral differences.

Uniting disparate cultures is the final issue.  When introducing a second marriage into one’s life, often one is shown new ways of life they are not used to.  You may be used to habits in your previous marriage, but that may not be the case for a second marriage!  Adapting one’s family to newfound traditions, culture, and beliefs can be difficult.

These reasons do not mean that you should give up on love and marriage!  But for a successful second marriage, it is a good idea to keep these common areas of friction in mind.  Through collaboration, communication, and compromise the couple can field these issues with ease.

 

Common Issues in a Second Marriage

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